39.5

A song that I can't get off of my mind. A song that I think describe well about first love (첫사랑) and unrequited love (짝사랑) or better known as one-sided love. Surely, a person who has never succeeded in loving someone might have this kind of thought of "why can't I love or be loved?". Though this song is not the answer to that thought, it actually voices out the thought. This song is a soundtrack to MBC drama "May Queen" which I think described the character Park Chang Hee very well. Of all the messages that are portrayed by the drama, I am only interested in two of them. First message is first love always doesn't end happily. Second  message is love after marriage is much better and stronger than love before marriage. These are what I got by observing the character Park Chang Hee and In Hwa.

The reason is simple: In Hwa fell in love with Chang Hee because she said finally she could have someone who loves her. Even though she found out that Chang Hee was just using her to get revenge to her father, In Hwa still loves him unconditionally, believe in him and be faithful to him. Which when compared to Hae Joo, is nothing much the same. Hae Joo, despite loving Chang Hee for 15 years, she couldn't really understand Chang Hee well. Chang Hee, on the other hand, realised how bad he was to have used In Hwa for revenge purpose and the sympathy he had within himself grew into love when he let In Hwa go so that she could live well on her own. 

This remind me of an advice that a pair of old couple gave once which is "The most important thing in marriage is sympathy because with sympathy we won't have heart to hurt our spouse." Though I am not 100% sure about the truth of this fact, I can say I'm almost 100% agreed with it since I have always wondered "can love really last even after both of us aged"? So i thought sympathy does play a role in making the love last long. 

Anyway, back to the song. I believe the title is 39.5 as it is referring to the body temperature when someone is having a fever (not sure if that is quite a high fever or just a mild fever). When you're lovesick, you don't have much appetite, you find it's hard to sleep, you even find it's hard to live a day without thinking of the person whom you can't even reach your hand out to. And that, is similar like having a fever with no medicine to cure...

왜 난 사랑하나도 못하는 걸까
처음에 본 것처럼 늘 서툴기만 해
Why can’t I even be in love?
I’m always clumsy like it’s my first time
(늘 - always)
(서투르다 - to be clumsy)

흔한 사랑 이별한 번 한 것 뿐인데
몇 날 며칠을 앓아 꼼짝을 못하고 있어
It’s just a common love and breakup
But I am sick for days and I can’t do anything
(흔한 - common)
(뿐 - just/only)
(앓다 - suffer(from) / be sick (with))
(꼼짝못하다 - be quite helpless / be (get) stuck with)
(몇 날 며칠 - days and days)

왜 이렇게 버려야 할게 많은 건지
그대 내게 남겨준 게 너무 많아서

Why are there so many things to throw away?
There are so many things you’ve given to me
(버리다 - throw away, throw out, dump)
(남기다 - to leave )
(남겨준 ~ leaving (adj.) )

열이 납니다. 아파서 죽을 듯이
어떤 약을 먹어도
잘 듣지 않네요.

I have a fever, as if I will die from being sick
No matter what medicine I take, it doesn’t help
(열이 나다 - down with fever)
(듯 (이) - as if, as though, like, as....as, as)
( 약 - medicine / drugs)
( 잘 듣다 - work / have an effect / be effective)

아픈 것도 내 맘이니깐
그냥 기다리고 있겠습니다.

But because being sick is my own prerogative (referring to my own heart)
I will just be waiting
(맘 = 마음 - mind, heart)
왜 난 이별하나도 못하는 걸까
익숙했던 기억도 다 지워야만 돼

Why can’t I even say goodbye?
I need to erase all the familiarized memories
(익숙하다 -be familiar (to), be used (to), be experienced (in))
(지우다 - wipe, erase)
사랑했던 시간만큼 이별하나 봐
니 걱정 니 생각만 하고 사니깐

I guess you go through a break up as much as you loved someone
Because I only live with worries and thoughts about you
(사니까 - (sth) that (smn) live for)
왜 이렇게 버려야 할게 많은 건지
그대 내게 남겨준 게 너무 많아서

Why are there so many things to throw away?
There are so many things you’ve given to me

열이 납니다 아파서 죽을 듯이
어떤 약을 먹어도 잘 듣지 않네요

I have a fever, as if I will die from being sick
No matter what medicine I take, it doesn’t help

아픈 것도 내 맘이니깐
그냥 기다리고 있겠습니다

But because being sick is my own prerogative
I will just be waiting

그대 원하는 만큼 아프고 원망했어요
많이 사랑한 만큼 후회와 미련만 남아서

I have hurt and been in despair as much as I want you
Because regret and lingering attachments remain as much as I loved you
(원하다 - want, wish, hope, long (for/to do))
(원망 - resentment, blame, resent)
(후회 - regret)
(미련이 남아 있다 - be attached, lingering affection (love) )
(남다 - remain, last, stay, linger)
알고 있어요.그대만 떠나간걸
그냥 사랑하니깐 나 아픈 거니깐

I know that only you have left
Just because I still love you, because I’m hurting

내 맘이죠 내 맘이니깐
그냥 기다리고 있겠습니다.

It’s my prerogative, it’s my prerogative
So I will just be waiting

열이 납니다 아파서 죽을 듯이
어떤 약을 먹어도
잘 듣지 않네요

I have a fever, as if I will die from being sick
No matter what medicine I take,
it doesn’t help

아픈 것도 내 맘이니깐
그냥 기다리고 있겠습니다.

But because being sick is my own prerogative
I will just be waiting

그냥 아픈대로 살아갑니다.
I will just live as I am sick
( 살아가다 - live, make a living)

P/S: I included the translation to some of the root words as I have been learning Korean vocabulary through songs and dramas. The translation can be trusted since I referred to Naver Korean-English dictionary and not just a google translate :)

Their first confrontation before the first stolen kiss

"If I kiss you again, will that return the stolen kiss?"

"I want to be up here with my love and that is you."

After In Hwa kissed Chang Hee at the company corridor

Chang Hee and In Hwa went out for dating.

Chang Hee trying to win In Hwa's heart.

"Chang hee oppa, try this on you too."

"Chang Hee oppa, should we choke on drugs to die?"

In Hwa looking beautiful in bridal gown

"Even there is suffering and adversity, the husband and the wife must make every effort to solve it."

"Groom and bride, please have a kiss of love"

Both looking beautiful walking down the aisle

The happy moment of the wedding

They looked really happy together

Clumsy In Hwa and gentleman Chang Hee paying respect to the parents

"Let's break up"

"You know I married you not because of love"

"Oppa, are you happy living without me?"

"Babo-ya, I let you go so that you could live well on your own."

After the hiking, In Hwa totally has fallen for him

Chang Hee looking mischievous as he deceived In Hwa

Helping In Hwa to stand up after she hurt her ankle.

Laughing behind the scene

Chang Hee didn't know where to start hugging

Behind the scene conversation

Chang Hee threaten to kiss her if she kept hitting him

"It's a love that have been unnoticed for long"

Credits to: MBC May Queen homepage

May Queen's Review

#May Queen.

The drama that introduces me to Jae Hee. The drama that is responsible for making me fall in love with an actor that doesn't act much in big screen or big hit dramas and movies. The drama that is responsible to introduce me to an actor who has high potential of becoming success yet he still manages to lay low what even manage to get married secretly and now is living happily ever after with his wife and a one-year old son. 

Let me tell you how I first decided to watch May Queen.

First, it was because I was anticipating of seeing Eun Jung in Five Fingers production but after the frustating controversy, I decided to not watch Five Fingers as Eun Jung was pulled out of the drama. Then I came to know that the drama's greatest competitor is May Queen. But still I need a strong assurance to make me watch the drama and that's when I got to know the children actress and actors are awesome. With my mind focused on just giving it a try, I started watching it and little did I know back then, it was absolutely addicting and I couldn't let it go anymore. Not until the adult casts appeared. 

I was a bit sad at first, knowing that I could no longer see Kim Yoo Jeong and Park Geon Tae together but I said to myself, hey why don't I give the adult casts a chance to prove they are good. Besides, I quite like Han Ji Hye in My Boyfriend is Type B. That being said, at that time, I had no interest in watching Jae Hee or Kim Jae Won. 

And then there it came, the handsome manly good looking Chang Hee aka Jae Hee in his three-piece work suit, dashingly captivating my heart at the moment. What more, his gentle and loving act towards Hae Joo made me fall for him head over heels. At the same time, the feeling was topped with the sympathy I had knowing the grudge and anger that Chang Hee had held in himself for long. I had no idea that he was going to take an adventurous tun in his life to protect his loved ones; Hae Joo, his father and his only friend, Kang San. 

There came a pause for me to watch May Queen. I couldn't bring my self to watch it especially knowing he won't be with Hae Joo (though I must say Jae Hee doesn't have that perfect loving chemistry with Han Ji Hye). And so, there were days when I kept contemplating whether I should continue watching or not as well as the days where I worried if the writer going to make Chang Hee the bad one until the end of the drama. So what I did was to go watch Jae Hee in Delightful Girl Chun Hyang where he got the best role ever!!! And he was a prosecutor as well in DGCH!!!! Also, why he always got a role with quite many fighting scenes? He actually had a scene in the last episode of May Queen. I'm not complaining here but instead I've got to say he looks more cool when he's fighting. ^_^

Anyway, as to continue the story of May Queen, so what I did was to take a peek at Chang Hee's screentime only. But I must say, the moment he tried winning (or deceiving) In Hwa's heart, I decided to continue watching the drama again. And gladly, Jae Hee's chemistry with Son Eun Seo is way better and I admit I went all happy and giddy every time I watched the parts they were together. And I felt sad when they had to break up in the last episode due to all the complicated circumstances they were in.

However, I'm super duper happy that Chang Hee and In Hwa finally ended up together in May Queen. No words can express my feelings now because honestly, I stayed to watch May Queen to the end mainly because of Chang Hee and I've got to say Jae Hee deserves a Baeksang Award for his role as Chang Hee. The only character that had so much transformation in the drama. I knew from the start that Chang Hee isn't bad at all. (Though I must say I have another plot in my mind that could break my own heart). I've got to say when Chang Hee said to Kang San "I thought you were smart enough", I went laughing out loud to all those person who taught Chang Hee was bad and stupid. Haha..so who gets the final laugh??? Us, Chang Hee team!!! Okay, that's too much. 

Chang Hee's and In Hwa's wedding picture in their bedroom.

In my point of view:

1. What Chang Hee did was all right as per his expertise. Come on, he studied to be a prosecutor, not an engineer. Obviously, he doesn't know anything about ships and drills and oils. But he has the smartest brain, and he plays along with the law SO WELL. If not because of the silly worker in Cheonji Shipbuilding, his plan should have been well-hidden until the end. Anyway, at least he managed to give all the evidences to Prosecutor Yoon Jeong Woo.

2. To be honest I also love how In Hwa character's evolves throughout the drama. From someone chasing Kang San around crazily without knowing the meaning of love, to someone who grows matured because of her love towards Chang Hee...the best antagonist couple award should go to Park Chang Hee and Jang In Hwa. 

3. Hae Joo's character was all fine during her childhood days but I have to say that the adult character was a bit rubbish. The only thing she knew was to throw tantrum....and admit her weaknesses and be a crybaby. Duh, I have no idea how Kang San isn't bored of her. LOL. Anyway, I conclude here that I think Han Ji Hye should just stick with Romance Comedy instead with melodrama like this. Totally ruin the mood. Sorry to her fans.

4. Kang San's character is the one that doesn't change much. Plus the timing that the writer insert his plot is all inappropriate. Like I couldn't care much when it was revealed that his parents died being murdered by Jang Do Hyeon. The writer should have included that way earlier. Plus, Kim Jae Won with straight and serious face totally ruin the mood for me. But when he acted the funny scene, he worked it off excellently. So I guess I conclude that he could play melodrama but not so much of serious scenes.

5. Other supporting characters are all so good. The moms, the dads, the staffs and etc are so well portrayed and the characters and scene are all so well written. I have to say I love how Geum Hee has her own plan as well despite her weaknesses. I love Yoon Jeong Woo love stories with Bong Hee, as well. They are cute.

On top of everything, I love the OSTs for the drama and my favourite goes to.....

39.5 by Kan Jong Wook

The song seriously fits for Chang Hee. How he broke up with Hae Joo and how he couldn't really bring himself to love In Hwa. If you ever wonder, 39.5 is referring to the body temperature when someone has fever, or so I thought. And the song keeps repeating the line "I am ill...aka 열이 납니다". The root word is 열이 나다 (yeor-i na-da) which means pretty much "run a fever". The second goes to "Even for 1 Second" by Kan Jong Wook as well and the third goes to "Goodbye to Romance" by Sonya.

Lastly, I'm sorry to say but May Queen is the first drama that made me watch the supporting roles more than the main roles. Blame it on the characters themselves, (aka the writer for making it not interesting to watch the main couple). Anyway, all the best to all the actors and actresses in May Queen for their future projects and I do hope Jae Hee to make a bigger screen comeback next time. Wishing him the best of success in his career, love and life. :) And May Queen is the second drama with many episodes that I manage to complete and enjoy watching. The first I watched was Kimcheed Radish Cubes with Park Shin Hye and Joo Sang Wook :)

Anyone out there who cares to share your opinion on this drama, feel free to do so :)

P/S: My heartiest congratulations to Jae Hee for his awesome outstanding performance in May Queen: 

@valentineye , 마지막 방송을 봤어요. 재희님 연기를 잘한다고 대단해요!!! 재희님의 성공에 대한 저의 진심어린 축하를 받아주세요. 그래,  더 좋은연기 좋은작품으로 다시만나요!  P/S: 사실은 재가 창희역을 그동안 늘 믿고 있어요.