Hoping for Favor and Blessing

Dear hope, trust and wonder...

It has been a while since I last posted in you..

I have got a very tight and hectic schedule as I am now in my final semester...striving to make my dream comes true

Now that I'm home for weekend and aided with superb fast internet connection speed, I am able to write this entry..

Haha...know what I heard an amazing fact from the conversation of dad and his friend..

Research from geneticists shows that our children are 20% more intelligent than us...

but that extra intelligence is not something for us to be boast about to the elders...

because there is an existence of what we call as law of equality...

We have to bear in mind that no matter how clever we are, it is still gift from God

and never forget to be grateful to God...

even when we pray every night and fast every day...the ibadah we did was just enough as to be grateful to 2 gifts..

so how should we show grateful to every gift that Allah gives us?

Every time I want to do something, I train myself to get used to focus my intention to search for Allah's favor...

If I manage to perform my Subuh prayer, I express my gratefulness to Allah

If I manage to perform full 5 prayers per day, I do the same...

If I get better results, I say Alhamdulillah

If I manage to wake up at night to perform Tahajjud and Hajat, I feel grateful

If I manage to not lost my temper for the day, I feel much much grateful to Allah

Every time when I walk out from my room in the morning, I would remind myself to recite "bismillahi tawakkaltu 'alallah la haula wala quwwata illa billahil 'aliyil 'azim"

Every time I start my lesson, I ask for Allah to give me better understanding

And He gives you of all that you ask Him; and if you count Allah's favors, you will not be able to number them; most surely man is very unjust, very ungrateful.
- Noble Qur'an (14:34)

But I made a mistake when Allah try to test on me...I questioned it...

I am not a very bright student but I can say that I am quite satisfied with my achievements....

Qanaat..satisfied yet work hard to achieve better...

Yes I agree that I got a better result compared to some of my friends...

But I don't really feel happy...why?

Because I didn't celebrate the success together with them...

I feel anxious whether I had really help them and could give a better help so that we could achieve success together....

I am not happy if I am far much better than them...because it shows that I am selfish

Besides, my lovely elder sister teach me that in terms of learning, we learn not to compete with other friends but instead, with we ourselves...

I don't want to succeed alone... I don't want to smile and laugh alone...I want to share every moment with them..

because they are the one who stick with me when I am sad..when I cry...so I want them to fill the enjoyment of success with me...

Oh God, please help us in our journey and give your blessing to us...Amin