Hello Goodbye and Hello

Just finished watching Children Who Chase the Lost Voices From Deep Below. I didn't expect it to be as beautiful as Spirited Away and The Girl Who Leapt Through Time. Cried at the last part when Asuna reminisced her first meeting with Shun who later died and Asuna went to Agartha to resurrect him but ended up learning to say goodbye to him. She met with Shin, Shun's younger brother who lived in Agartha and was assigned a task to find the Clevis that belongs to his brother who died in human's world and together they helped each other along their journey in Agartha.


And the ending theme song "Hello Goodbye and Hello" keep playing in my mind. How I wish I can find the piano score for this :(.

Romaji:

Hello Goodbye & Hello kimi ni atte
ima kimi to sayonara Hello Goodbye & Hello
soshite kimi no inai kono sekai ni Hello

hontou no sayonara o shiranakatta ano toki
kowareyuku kokoro wa zutto kimi o sagashiteta

moshimo todoku no naraba tsutaetakatta koto ga takusan aru
subete no kimochi de kimi no egao o tayasazu soba ni itai to chikau yo

Hello Goodbye & Hello
kimi ni atte ima kimi ni sayonara
Hello Goodbye & Hello
soshite kimi no inai kono sekai ni Hello

omoide ya nukumori wa kimi e to tsudzuku ito
tadoettemo mitsukaranai soredake o mitsuketa

nakushitakunai negai ichiban tooi hoshi dato omotta yo
sora wa hirogaru asu no you ni hatenai keredo te o nobashitai yo

Hello Goodbye & Hello
kimi no koto o itsumo wasurenai yo
Hello Goodbye & Hello
soshite kono michi o aruite yukunda

kimi o suki ni natta toki kara hajimatteita kono tabi

Hello Goodbye & Hello
kimi ni atte ima kimi to sayonara
Hello Goodbye & Hello
soshite kimi no inai kono sekai ni Hello

Hello Goodbye & Hello
kimi ni atte ima kimi ni sayonara
Hello Goodbye & Hello
soshite kimi no inai kono sekai ni Hello

English Translation:
Hello Goodbye & Hello, meeting with you
Goodbye to you now,
Hello Goodbye & Hello,
And to this new world that's without you, hello

I did not know what is a true goodbye, at that time
This breaking heart kept searching for you
If they were able to reach you, there is so many things I want to tell
With all my feelings, without disconnecting from your smile, I promise to be beside you

Hello Goodbye & Hello
Meeting with you, Goodbye to you now
Hello Goodbye & Hello,
And to this new world that's without you, hello

Our memories and warmth are threads connecting to you
You can't find them by wandering, but I have found just that
I thought the wishes I did not want to lose were the farthest stars
The sky widens, like tomorrow, though it's endless, I want to reach my arms out

Hello Goodbye & Hello
I have never forgotten about you
Hello Goodbye & Hello,
And also, I will be walking upon this path
Ever since I fell in love with you, this journey started

Hello Goodbye & Hello, meeting with you
Goodbye to you now,
Hello Goodbye & Hello,
And to this new world that's without you, hello

Hello Goodbye & Hello, meeting with you
Goodbye to you now,
Hello Goodbye & Hello,
And to this new world that's without you, hello


Kanji:


hello goodbye and hello
君に会って
今君とさよなら
hello goodbye and hello
そして君のいないこの世界にHello

本当のさよならを
知らなかったあの时
壊れゆく心はずっと
君を探してた

もしも届くのならば
伝えたかったことがたくさんある
すべての気持ちで君の笑颜を绝やさずそばにいたいと誓うよ

hello goodbye and hello
君に会って
今君にさよなら
hello goodbye and hello
そして君のいないこの世界にHello

思い出が温もりは君と続く糸
たとえても见つからない　それだけを见つけた
失くしたくない愿い　一番远い星だと思ったよ
空は広がる　明日の絵ようね　果てないけれど手を伸ばしたいよ
hello goodbye and hello
君の行动をいつも忘れないよ
hello goodbye and hello　そしてこの道を歩いてゆくなあ
君お好きになった时から始まていたこの旅

hello goodbye and hello
君に会って
今君とさよなら
hello goodbye and hello
そして君のいないこの世界にHello

hello goodbye and hello
君に会って
今君にさよなら
hello goodbye and hello
そして君のいないこの世界にHello

Zia - Naega Ireochi Mwo

Really love this song and the meaning...."I am this kind of girl"...
And love the couple as well ^_^ I wish I can get the piano score of this song...I only know how to play the beginning...:(


Lyrics:


I didn't realize that the meeting time has passed
What's new?  I'm always like this, I rush
I run the street that I usually walk
And the person that I bump into, it's you my ex

* I cry, I cry like crazy
I let out all the tears that I've been holding in
I hang onto you like a child and ask, where have you been till now?
I grab your wrist, 'coz I'm afraid you'll go far away if I let you go
I grab you tight 'coz I'm afraid you'll run away

When dating me, you realized it didn't bring us any good
But you don't know the goodness out of it
So I ended it with one sentence, I'm sorry
And now we run into each other coincidentally

Repeat *

What's new, I'm just this kind of girl
Easily bored, easily abandoned, waiting

I cry like crazy with two arms opened
I block you and tell you to stay a little longer
I hang onto you like a child and cry out
I grab your wrist, 'coz I'm afraid you'll go far away if I let you go
I grab you tight and I cry

You left alone, you drif apart as if nothing happened
You don't turn around once
You disappear even if I scream, I love you
The wind blows, the wind blows in my eyes 
that are seeing you for the last time
The wind blows, blows, blows
You're leaving me again
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Hangul Lyrics


벌써 약속 시간 지난지 몰랐어
내가 이렇지 뭐 하면서 더 서둘러
걸어서 갈 거리를 뛰어서 가다가
부딪힌 사람 헤어진 너 잖아

미치도록 운다 (운다) 참았던 눈물을 쏟아내고
어디쯤 있다가 왔냐고 어린 아이처럼 매달려 소리 쳐
니 손목을 끈다 (끈다) 이대로 놓치면 멀리 갈까 봐
손에 힘을 준다 달아 날까 봐

나를 만나 보니 나쁜 점 알겠다고
근데 좋은 점이 뭔지 모르겠다고
미안 해 한 마디로 끝 나고 말았어
그리고 지금 우연히 만났어

미치도록 운다 (운다) 참았던 눈물을 쏟아내고
어디쯤 있다가 왔냐고 어린 아이처럼 매달려 소리 쳐
니 손목을 끈다 (끈다) 이대로 놓치면 멀리 갈까 봐
손에 힘을 준다 달아 날까 봐

원래 그래 나란 여자가 이렇지 뭐 이렇지 뭐
쉽게 질리고 버려지고 기다리고

미치도록 운다 두 팔을 벌려 널 막고
조금만 더 있다 가라고 어린 아이처럼 매달려 소리 쳐
니 손목을 끈다 (끈다) 이대로 놓치면 멀리 갈까 봐
손에 힘을 준다 운다 운다

너 혼자만 둔다 (둔다) 아무 일 없듯이 멀어지고
한 번을 뒤돌아 안 보고

사랑한다 해도 그대로 사라져
비바람이 분다 (분다) 마지막 널 보는 내 눈 속에서
비바람이 분다 분다 분다
니가 다시 나를 떠나 버린다


Romanized: 

beolsseo yaksok sigan jinanji mollasseo
naega ireochi mwo hamyeonseo deo seodulleo
georeoseo gal georireul ttwieoseo gadaga
budichin saram heeojin neo janha

michidorok unda (unda) chamatdeon nunmureul ssodanaego
eodijjeum itdaga wannyago eorin aicheoreom maedallyeo sori chyeo
ni sonmogeul kkeunda (kkeunda) idaero nochimyeon meolli galkka bwa
sone himeul junda dara nalkka bwa

nareul manna boni nappeun jeom algetdago
geunde joheun jeomi mwonji moreugetdago

mian hae han madiro kkeut nago marasseo
geurigo jigeum uyeonhi mannasseo

michidorok unda (unda) chamatdeon nunmureul ssodanaego
eodijjeum itdaga wannyago eorin aicheoreom maedallyeo sori chyeo

ni sonmogeul kkeunda (kkeunda) idaero nochimyeon meolli galkka bwa
sone himeul junda dara nalkka bwa

wollae geurae naran yeojaga ireochi mwo ireochi mwo
swipge jilligo beoryeojigo gidarigo

michidorok unda du pareul beollyeo neol makgo

jogeumman deo itda garago eorin aicheoreom maedallyeo sori chyeo
ni sonmogeul kkeunda (kkeunda) idaero nochimyeon meolli galkka bwa
sone himeul junda unda unda

neo honjaman dunda (dunda) amu il eopdeusi meoreojigo
han beoneul dwidora an bogo
saranghanda haedo geudaero sarajyeo
bibarami bunda (bunda) majimak neol boneun nae nun sogeseo
bibarami bunda bunda bunda
niga dasi nareul tteona beorinda

credits:
http://www.allfordrama.com/14/post/2011/10/-the-way-i-am-feat-ha-dong-kyun-by-zia-romanization-english-translation-hangul-lyrics-mv-audio-and-mp3-dl.html

Neon Naege Banhaesso Piano

The teaser version of You've Fallen for Me, a soundtrack for Heartstrings drama.

Piano Practice in College Hall

Park Shin Hye's version of I Will Forget You. I'm still at a level between beginner and intermediate. This is because I started learning piano when I was 5 years old but had to quit at 12 years old without majoring it fully. Guess that explains why I made a lot of mistakes in the recording of this song...

This one is Without Words which was originally sang by 9th Street but I prefer Park Shin Hye's version to them. :) Enjoy!!

My Dancing Fingers

It's really great to know that I am able to play piano again. At age 12, I was enrolled into boarding school which left me with no choice but to quit piano lessons at grade 2 for practical (but grade 3 for theory). And after almost 10 years of not being able to practise nor learn new songs, I am finally having my fingers dancing - though not so gracefully - on the piano. Only God knows the hardships I have to go through in order to completely learn four new songs. I had to start form the basic, reading the notes for both treble clef and bass clef, have the alphabets written down on the music sheet so as not to have many "stops" during practice. And the major problem came from my hands which can't move faster and at different pace. 


 The first song I learnt was "Love Ya" by SS501 followed by "Because I Miss You" by Jung Yong Hwa, "Without Words" by Park Shin Hye and  "I Will Forget You" by Park Shin Hye. To be honest, only two songs I was able to learn fully from the music sheets I downloaded freely from internet, those are Love Ya and I Will Forget You. As for Without Words and Because I Miss You, I tried to figure the left hand chords myself...and I guess it did work quite well (my own perspective). 


Earlier today, I played "Without Words" and "I Will Forget You" using guitar sound and it turned out making me cry as it made me reminisce the enjoyable moments with my family for the past two months of my summer holiday in Malaysia. I hope Mama, Ayah, Diyana and Dinie won't forget the melody of the songs that I played at home even though it was not that harmony. I am now trying my hard to practise so that I can play the songs flawlessly and have it recorded so that I can post the video up in this blog.


As for now, I will post up the first video of me playing "Because I Miss You" (with lots of flaws). Enjoy!

Heartstrings ^^

Source: MBC Heartstring's Official Site

I've finished watching all 16 episodes of Heartstrings aka You've Fallen For Me and all I can say is I am really satisfied with the storyline even though the drama actually has been shorten to 15 episodes. I love the fact that the love relationship between Lee Gyu Won and Lee Sin went smoothly except in the last episode that Lee Sin had to break up with Gyu Won in order to let Gyu Won to go overseas to accomplish her dream as a musical star. Despite that, Lee Sin's character has been portrayed to be a very understanding namjachingu...so sweet. I love the lively, determined, ambitious, and kind-hearted characters of Gyu Won. I love the characters of the director and the professor who have always been very helpful and kind to the students, even though they are quite strict ^_^

Source: MBC

My Critics:

Plot:

On the other hand, If I were to give critics on the drama, I would say that the scriptwriter should have focused more on the preparation of the performances and they should have give more hints as how Lee Sin started to fall for Gyu Won. Oh...and probably it's best for the scriptwriter to actually emphasise on the part that Lee Sin somehow realises that his feeling for the professor is actually just sympathy..not love...because then it wouldn't seem so sudden that Lee Sin turned from the professor to Gyu Won. Not only that, I would rather have Lee Sin fall for Gyu Won the first time he saw Gyu Won playing gayageum in the practice room even though he might not realise it back then. 

Source: MBC

Characters:

And for a cool student like Lee Sin to really chase after Professor Jeong Yun Su, that looks a bit uncool...I prefer Lee Sin to be like how he is when he tried to win Gyu Won's heart because that shows how cool student was supposed to act like when they start to fall for a person. And I would rather have Gyu Won not being too open about her feelings to Lee Sin as that means she's not any different than other girls who have been chasing after Lee Sin. I would prefer Gyu Won to be rather cool and defensive about her feelings despite the fact that she always tried to be a good slave to Lee Sin ^_^

Overall:

I love the chemistry between the two main casts, the soundtracks, the performances, the ending and most importantly the romantic scenes. Heartstrings will always top the chart for the best teenage melodrama in my heart ^_^

Source: MBC

Source:MBC

Source: MBC

Source: MBC

Announcement Poster. Source:MBC

Heartstrings OST - Because I Miss You

Hiya...just wanna share a nice sweet song I heard from Heartstrings OST sang by Jung Yong Hwa. The title is Because I Miss You... the song was actually first dedicated by LeeShin for his father who had passed away when he had just gotten to know his father. So far (Up to episode 11) I still can't see the relation of this song with Gyu Won yet, since they are having a sweet relationship (except at then end of episode 11). Enjoy ^^

늘 똑같은 하늘에 늘 같은 하루
neul ttokgateun haneure neul gateun haru
그대가 없는 것 말고는 달라진 게 없는데
geudaega eomneun geot malgoneun dallajin ge eomneunde
난 웃고만 싶은데 다 잊은 듯이
nan utgoman sipeunde da ijeun deusi
아무일 아는 듯 그렇게
amuil aneun deut geureoke
웃으면 살고픈데
useumyeon salgopeunde

그리워 그리워서 그대가 그리워서
geuriwo geuriwoseo geudaega geuriwoseo
매일 난 혼자서만 그대를 부르고 불러봐요
maeil nan honjaseoman geudaereul bureugo bulleobwayo

보고파 보고파서 그대가 보고파서
bogopa bogopaseo geudaega bogopaseo
이제 난 습관처럼 그대 이름만 부르네요
ije nan seupgwancheoreom geudae ireumman bureuneyo
오늘도
oneuldo

난 보낸줄 알았죠 다 남김없이
nan bonaenjul aratjyo da namgimeobsi
아니죠 아니죠 난 아직 그대를 못 보냈죠
anijyo anijyo nan ajik geudaereul mot bonaetjyo

그리워 그리워서 그대가 그리워서
geuriwo geuriwoseo geudaega geuriwoseo
매일 난 혼자서만 그대를 부르고 불러봐요
maeil nan honjaseoman geudaereul bureugo bulleobwayo

보고파 보고파서 그대가 보고파서
bogopa bogopaseo geudaega bogopaseo
이제 난 습관처럼 그대 이름만 부르네요
ije nan seupgwancheoreom geudae ireumman bureuneyo
오늘도
oneuldo

하루하루가 죽을 것만 같은 어떻게 해야 해요
haruharuga jugeul geotman gateun eotteoke haeya haeyo

사랑해 사랑해요 그대를 사랑해요
saranghae saranghaeyo geudaereul saranghaeyo
말조차 못하고서 그대를 그렇게 보냈네요
maljocha motagoseo geudaereul geureoke bonaenneyo

미안해 미안해요 내말이 들리나요
mianhae mianhaeyo naemari deullinayo
뒤늣은 내 고백을 그댄 들을 수 있을까요
dwineuseun nae gobaegeul geudaen deureul su isseulkkayo
사랑해요
saranghaeyo


TRANSLATION
Always under exactly the same sky, always exactly the same day
Other than your not being here, there’s nothing different at all
I just want to smile, want to forget everything
Just like absolutely nothing has happened, smiling to live my days

Miss you, miss you so much, because I miss you so much
Everyday all by myself, calling and calling you
Want to see you, want to see you, because I want to see you so much
Now it’s like I have this habit, keep calling out your name
It’s the same today


I thought I’d let go, not leaving anything behind
No, no, now I still can’t let you go
Miss you, miss you so much, because I miss you so much
Everyday all by myself, calling and calling you
Want to see you, want to see you, because I want to see you so much

Now it’s like I have this habit, keep calling out your name
It’s the same today

Everyday, everyday, it feels like I’m gonna die, what should I do?

Love you, love you, I love you
I hadn’t even spoken the words, I just let you go
Sorry, sorry, do you hear my words
My late confession, can you hear it
I love you

Credit to: http://lyricsjuzz.blogspot.com

New Music Interest ^_^

I'm falling in love with CNBLUE's music genre...it differs very much from SS501...hehe...it started with I'm a Loner and First Step...Love the fast beat and the husky voice of Yong Hwa...love how they made heartbroken thing to sound just like another routine in life or in other words it's kinda not really a big deal in life...love their skill in playing musical instrument...so I guess I'm gonna indulge into CNBLUE's music while waiting for SS501's comeback...which is still a long way to go, I think, as currently they are all busy with their solo activity and still haven't started with their group activity. 

I'm A Loner Lyrics Translation:

Look, look at me, me. Look at me straight in the eyes.

Look, you've already looked at elsewhere.

Check it one two three, you only keep looking at the clock.

You don’t have to tell me. I know you got someone else.

You’ve been meeting someone else often lately.

You don’t even call me first anymore.

When you are with me, you would only look at the sky even if a day is a second long.

<> I know your mind.

<> The distance between you and I.

Getting farther and wider.

We are no better than strangers.

<> I’m a loner  I’m a loner. daridiridara du

I’m a loner  I’m a loner. daridiridara du

I’m a loner  I’m a loner  I’m a loner

being sad at love, shedding tear at love.

sad sad sad sad sad sad sad tonight  <>

Oh no no no no no body knows << how I feel>>

one two three four five six seven night << I’m cheering up myself passing many nights awake>>

If you had just told me honestly

that you got someone else. That you hate me.

Then I wouldn’t have hated you to death.

check it one two three. Remembering your words, they are all silly lies.

<> I’m a loner  I’m a loner. daridiridara du

I’m a loner  I’m a loner. daridiridara du

I’m a loner  I’m a loner  I’m a loner

being sad at love, shedding tear at love.

sad sad sad sad sad sad sad tonight  <>

Oh no no no no no body knows << how I feel>>

one two three four five six seven night << I’m cheering up myself passing many nights awake>>

Love is going. Love is leaving.

(One person and one love. Everything that I’ve been used to)

I should erase you after tonight.

(Yes, I should force myself to erase you. I should do so since you abandoned me)

(Gone Gone my love is gone)

I’m a loner  I’m a loner. daridiridara du

I’m a loner  I’m a loner. daridiridara du

I’m a loner  I’m a loner  I’m a loner

hurt by love and waiting for love.

sad sad sad sad sad sad sad tonight << I want this to be a dream>>

Oh no no no no no body knows << no body knows me>>

one two three four five six seven night  << I’m crying passing many nights awake>>

CREDITS:

SplendidVenus [[Lyric + Translation]]

http://fulllyricseng.wordpress.com/2010/01/17/cnblue-i%C2%B4m-a-loner-lyric/

It's My First Day Going To The Gym

I have always wanted to go working out in the gym...and the opportunity came when my sister requested for a free day pass from the gym...okay to be honest it was fun...

Starting at 5pm with a little of induction from the gym trainer, then I ran on the treadmill with the speed ranging from 4km/h to 7.5km/h for about 15 minutes. 

Then I tried the recumbent bikes for about 5minutes before cooling down as I have to go for the Kettlebell Class at 6pm. Not only I was new to the class, to make it worst, I got a spot exactly facing the instructor ( a guy, quite good looking, used to be my sister's personal trainer)...nice T_T..I could barely skip even the slightest step....yeah and as a result, for a gym virgin like me, my whole body aches until the very moment I am writing this post. At the end of the class, he told my sister that we were quite serious for beginners....(and I was like "what did he expect with me facing him and yet to do it playfully?") Oh but my sister said that Kettlebell is a good weight training option for those who want immediate result like me...by the time I got home, I could feel part of my calf muscle harden a bit...well I don't know if it was just my imagination...

After that class, we continued with cycling (10km for my sister) and rowing for 2km...I absolutely love rowing....anyway, I really hope that I will be able to sign up for gym in my next three years in gym for my own  sake..I wish to be more active in the next academic years in the UK.

P/S: I don't know why but I'm losing the passion to write nowadays which kinda makes me sad....I'm still searching for a good English movie that can enlighten my passion for writing...that enable me to write beautifully in English...

My First Medal in My Life

Last Sunday, July 3rd, I participated in 5k Race for Life organized by Cancer Research UK along with Tesco. It was held in Sheffield. It was pretty fun as I had been dreaming of running for like many years until I could get into the real race, even though it's not as serious as other races but I regarded this as a training for me so that I could get the idea of how real race would be like...(I feel like my English is deteriorating from time to time..my bad). Anyway, after few minutes from the starting line I got side stitch that caused me to stop jogging and continue with walking....I was so sad at that time since I slowed down my sister as well. Well, for your information, my sister is a marathon runner so I guess she could have done better if she had not waited for me and cared about me. I did asked her to ignore me and just continue running but she said it was because she had promised to take care of me. Isn't she the sweet? Yeah, I owe her a lot...Alhamdulillah we both managed to finish the 5k race for about 40 minutes...which was not a record at all :P...nevermind...and we both got medals for finishing the race...and it turned out to be my first medal...well I'll be looking forward for the upcoming races as well....and I would better be prepared for the longer distance races as well...may Allah grant my wish... ^^

Tell Me That You Love Me

The song that I have liked since I got to know Kim Rae Won

Tell Me That You Love Me by M to M

Translation

Just once, even if it's just once
Will I still be able to love you
Betting my everything
All the happiness that's left in front of me
Will I have the courage to throw it all away and choose you
In front of whatever questions
My answer is always you

Hiding and hiding
My heart for you
Is longing for you as much as the sky, what am I to do
Will you be able to cover it with your hands
I love you
It's so blinding I can't even open my eyes

It happens just once, if I'm to live one day
I want to put it to use without any regrets
This life that isn't easy
Keeps making me forget you
It's so hard~

Hiding and hiding
My heart for you
Is longing for you as much as the sky, what am I to do
Will you be able to cover it with your hands
I love you

Maybe during the time we're living
We might not be able to come, not even once
If I can't tell you today
I won't be able to tell you tomorrow either
Even if your tears fall
Tell me you love me
Living my life for you
That's what's good for me
Until the end~

Romaji

dan hanbeon
dan hanbeon bakke motaedo geuraedo
neol saranghalsuisseulkka
nae jeonbureul da geolgo nae ape nameun manheun haengbogeul
beorigo neol taekhal jasin isseulkka
eotteon mureum apeseodo naui daedabeun hangsang neoya

gamchwodo
sumgyeodo
neoreul hyanghan nae gaseum
jeo haneul mankeum geuriun geol eotteokhae
soneuro garyeoseo pihae jil su itgenni
saranghae
nunbusyeo
nun tteul su do eobseo

dan hanbeon inde harul sarado
huhoeeobsi sseuda gago sipeunde
swipji anheun sarmeun jakku neoreul irke hae
deo himgyeowo

gamchwodo
sumgyeodo
neoreul hyanghan nae gaseum
jeo haneul mankeum geuriun geol eotteokhae
soneuro garyeoseo pihae jil su itgenni
saranghae

eojjeom uri saneun dongane dan hanbeondo mot olji molla
oneul mal motamyeon naeildo mot haltende nunmurinado
saranghanda malhaejwo
neol wihae saneun sarm geuge nareul wihan geol
majimakkkaji

Hangul

단 한번
단 한번 밖에 못해도 그래도
널 사랑할수있을까
내 전부를 다 걸고 내 앞에 남은 많은 행복을
버리고 널 택할 자신 있을까
어떤 물음 앞에서도 나의 대답은 항상 너야

감춰도
숨겨도
너를 향한 내 가슴
저 하늘 만큼 그리운 걸 어떡해
손으로 가려서 피해 질 수 있겠니
사랑해
눈부셔
눈 뜰 수 도 없어

단 한번 인데 하룰 살아도
후회없이 쓰다 가고 싶은데
쉽지 않은 삶은 자꾸 너를 잃게 해
더 힘겨워

감춰도
숨겨도
너를 향한 내 가슴
저 하늘 만큼 그리운 걸 어떡해
손으로 가려서 피해 질 수 있겠니
사랑해

어쩜 우리 사는 동안에 단 한번도 못 올지 몰라
오늘 말 못하면 내일도 못 할텐데 눈물이나도
사랑한다 말해줘
널 위해 사는 삶 그게 나를 위한 걸
마지막까지

credit to http://www.jpopasia.com/lyrics/34225/m-to-m/tell-me-that-you-love-me.html

Happens for a reason

As Ibn al-Qayyim rahimahu Allah (may Allah have mercy on him) said, “When Allah tests you, it is never to destroy you. Whenever He removes something from your possession, it is only to empty your hands for an even better gift.”

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about what I have done during my years in secondary school. To me, it was a very big mistake. A big mistake that has made me regretting it so much. I had been slacking so much during that awful years. I spent time doing sinful unnecessary thing until Allah showed me "it's" true colour. From then on, I have tried my best to avoid it and I managed to avoid it for like 3 years (until now) until recently it had tried to come back to me. I was so scared I made the same mistake as I have been trying seeking my better self since I was in college. And I did my best to give it many reasons pointing out how determined I am not to repeat the same mistake. Since it was really hard trying to urge it to back off, I tried sharing an article about the sin I made. Unexpectedly, it questioned about the laws and played around with the laws as if trying to point my mistakes. And I felt like it's trying to stop me from changing to be a better person. Oh only God knows my feeling when I read what was written in the message. I could only continually made istighfar. At that time, I totally felt ashamed of myself because it was me who started that mistake. But I totally had repented and I hope Allah will accept my repentance. I felt like crying my whole heart out but no one can hear my crying. I take that as a test for me...a test to see if I really wouldn't go back to the old path. And now I have realised, why I received so much objections when I tried to be closed to it during secondary school. It's mainly because Allah knows it's not good for me...and even my friends all know it's really bad for myself. I wish I had listened to my friends earlier. I feel so much peaceful now that I had thrown it away from my life. And now the only thing I can hope is for Allah's forgiveness. "Please ya Allah, guide me to Siratal Mustaqim, the straight path, The way of those on whom you have bestowed your grace, not the way of those who have earned your anger, nor of those who have lost their way and are astray." And to all those out there whom I might have hurt for a slightest moment, please forgive me sincerely, especially mum dad and my sisters. I am so sorry that I have disappointed all of you because of it. I am sorry...

Belajar = Susah

Ingatlah wahai diri...

Di luar sana, ada ramai orang yang susah, yang tak pernah punyai peluang untuk bersekolah, tapi sentiasa punyai usaha mencari duit dan menyimpan impian untuk ke sekolah suatu hari nanti. Mereka tak kisah biar bersengkang mata mencari punca rezeki. Asalkan dapat laksanakan impian tersebut. 

Tapi anda? Dah dapat peluang masih tak bersyukur. Susah sikit merungut. Susah sikit melenting. Kalau belajar tak susah, baik tak payah belajar. Kalau belajar tak susah, takde beza orang yang belajar dengan tak belajar. Kat luar sana, ramai lagi yang sanggup bersusah asalkan dapat belajar. Kalau asyik merungut, pergi bagi peluang tu kat orang lain.

Baru dua paper susah..tu pun tak dapat result lagi. Kalau it turns out to be not bad, buang lelah je mengamuk sana sini. Malu dengan diri sendiri. Malu dengan Allah. Baru diuji sedikit dah mula nak give up. Shame on you, diri. So apa lagi...buka buku math tu pergi buat latihan. Daripada buang masa complaining lecturer ini itu tak bagus, baik pergi gunakan masa untuk cari nota. Jangan sampai nanti mati bila ditanya, usia kamu dihabiskan bagaimana, baru tersedar "oh saya kept on complain pasal lecturer sampai nak belajar nak beribadah pun tak sempat." 

Sentiasalah muhasabah diri anda. Carilah mana punca kesusahan tersebut. Besar kemungkinan dari diri anda sendiri. Fikir-fikirkan.

Renungkan balik kata-kata hikmah " Biar susah macam mana hidup di dunia ini. Yang penting kita tahu di akhirat kelak akan ada ganjaran bertemu dengan-Nya". Subhanallah. Semoga segala ilmu yang dipelajari diniatkan kerana Allah Taala. 

P/S: Post kali ini untuk diri saya sendiri. Tiada kaitan dengan mana-mana pihak lain. Harap Maklum.

To Stand Again...is another problem

"You feel like a candle in a hurricane

Just like a picture with a broken frame

Alone and helpless

Like you've lost your fight

But you'll be alright, you'll be alright"

Never lose hope, Dalila.

"Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend till you break
Cause it's all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand, then you stand"

You've fallen so many times and yet here you're still standing. 

So I guess another fall doesn't hurt that much.

You'll keep fighting for the next three papers. Even if you fail your Mechanics Exam, it doesn't mean that much because everyone feels the same as you. People can't talk about it because they didn't take that exam. Only you guys know how hard was the paper. 

Subhanallah..indahnya

Ok...ini tiada kaitan dengan mana-mana makhluk Allah yang kacak atau yang cantik...tapi ini berkaitan dengan mimpi saya ^_^...mimpi tidur lepas subuh jadi besar kemungkinan mainan tidur...yup mimpi tak silap saya dikatakan ada tiga jenis...(akan cuba cari mana saya dapat info ini)...pertama keinginan kita...kedua petunjuk Allah...ketiga mainan syaitan...yup..saya harap keinginan saya jek sebab kalau nak kata petunjuk Allah tu sangatlah mustahil memandangkan saya ni hambaNya yang sangat lemah. 


Rasa tak perlulah saya cerita lebih lanjut tentang mimpi itu kerana takut mengganggu ketenteraman atau sensitiviti orang lain...(nak kata takut ada orang perasan sebenarnya). Cuma yang pasti ianya tiada kaitan dengan pelajaran atau hubungan kekeluargaan. Saya rasa setakat ni satu-satunya mimpi (tolak pasal study dan keluarga) yang mampu buat saya tersenyum dari waktu saya bangun tidur pukul 8pagi sampailah waktu saya tulis entri ini. Hehe, malah masa nak pergi jumpa lecturer pun boleh tersenyum sendirian dalam bas. Masak pun senyum lagi. Oh dan dalam mimpi itu ada warna oren dan purple dan hijau...warna kesukaan saya :) 


Ya Allah, indahnya kalau jadi kenyataan tapi saya sedar akan diri yang serba kekurangan sana sini. Jadi saya serahkan hal ini kepada Maha Pencipta yang sesungguhnya tahu apa yang terbaik buat diri ini. Ok nak sambung study. Moga Allah permudahkan segalanya.InsyaAllah.Amin. All the best juga kepada rakan seperjuangan yang lain.


PS: Tadi naik bas 52 dari Notting Hill ke Royal Albert Hall, ada sorang remaja mat saleh pakai habis smart ala-ala gaya agent dengan kot labuh hitam dan luggage kecik hitam serta rambut disikat gaya 70an...Subhanallah indah ciptaan Allah ^_^ Waktu jalan ke kampus dia jala ka tbelakang rasa berdebar. :P Acah jek.

My First University Exam

Started on 20 May 2011...gonna end on 10 June 2011....with 8 subjects for me to cover:


1. Electrical Engineering 1
2. Molecules, Cells and Processes
3. Electromagnetics and Optics 1
4. Heat and Mass Transfer
5. Mechanics
6. Logics and Digital System
7. Mathematics
8. Medical Science


Everything scares me out...but like my lil sis said " A coward gets scared and quit. A hero gets scared but still goes on". I wanna be a hero to my little sis so that next time when she sees a challenge in front of her, she won't be scared to uptake that challenge. Yeah, since she is going to further studies in A-Level, I wanna her to know that A-Level and International Baccalaureate are of same difficulty but in different perspectives. I hope she'll do well in her studies and life. 


Oh bytheway, I really can't wait for the exam to end so that I can see my eldest sister. Can't wait having good time with her, and also can't wait for the leisure time I'm gonna have to try new recipes :) yeah...I just love cooking...Hope everything gonna be very smooth for me. Insya Allah.

Jangan Pisahkan kami, Ya Allah

"Sisters are best friends forever" 


Be it you're happy, 


Or you're sad,


Or maybe overexcited,


Or maybe you feel too timid,


You feel helpless,


Or maybe you feel aflutter,


Or bamboozled,


Even if you're having 1001 kind of feelings,


Sisters are always there for you.


Thanks a lot Diyana and Dinie,


I pray to Allah that we will meet again in Jannah. Amin